My Current Life Status

I somehow finding myself,
Back at the same place I used to be,
A razor sharp blade at my left,
An unfinished sad love poem by my right,
I have no hope anymore,
But to live in a world of seclusion and denial,
Denying everything I see, hear or speak,
Secluding myself in darkness of silence,
Secluding myself away from everyone.
Leaving this world doesn't make me solely,
Staying here doesn't serve a purpose,
Let time decide my fate here,
I have once more lost my life,
To the silence and loneliness,
Looking at the time I am,
Time is just going by too slow,
So is this a torment or just life?
I do wonder as I stared at the clouds,
Up in the blue clear skies,
Hoping a change in my life...