Painful... Tearful... Words....

Today shall be the day, that person spoke of me,
the words that shall not be out from thy lips,
but it did, indeed it did.
I shall suffer for this day has yet to come again.

My Updated Status...

In my life I don't mean much to anyone
I've lost my way can't go back anymore
Once I had everything now it's gone
Don't tell me again coz I've heard it all before

Some people say that I'm not worth it
I've made mistakes but nobody's perfect
Guess I'll give it a try

I've got one last chance to get myself together
I can't lose no more time it's now or never and I try to remember who I used to be
I've got one more chance to get myself together

The time has come for me to change again
I can't carry on like this, I will lose my friends - don't say that you have given up on me
Just give me the time and speace to heal my head

I don't wanna be misunderstood
I've got to take this chance and make it into something good



Direct Copy from James Morrison.

L.A.M.E. magazine

Alex is in the L.A.M.E. magazine. Not bad...

An Emo Story...

Folks, let me tell you of a story,
It's about me, about you, and all of us around,
I want to share this story of once upon a time,
No matter how it began, all has the same outcome.

It was about this little boy,
that goes by the name of Ivan,
Missing his little wife from afar,
Wondering what has she been up to.
Lack of communication they two have,
Making it harder for them to love one another,
Things tend to get a bit loose,
So did their relationship.
And one day, in a cold stricken winter,
He then turned up at her doorstep,
Knocking the door loudly,
Awaiting patiently as always.
She then came out, wondering who is that,
Then she knew it was Ivan at the front,
She then told and yelled at Ivan,
Shouting "I'm Breaking Up with You."
Yes, it hurt Ivan deeply,
A deep cut indeed I must say,
Ivan was stripped of his dignity,
His heart was hacked to pieces.
Ivan felt cold, even colder than the winter,
Shaking in terror and in fear,
He now know what darkness feels,
And he prayed to be isolated in it.
Next day, in front page of the news,
Ivan was hung at a tree outside of her house,
Leaving a note being written with his blood,
Never to be leaving that place forever again.
Every morning the girl walked out of the house,
She then see Ivan, standing under that tree,
He just waits and waits till he was being loved once more,
By that girl whom he has waited for years.
The girl was then admitted to asylum,
Leaving a pool of blood all over her room,
With a note on her desk being written in blood,
I'm giving you back your heart in me.

This is a true tale, few have foretold,
Not many know of it, but yet lived by it,
So please don't be a victim of a kind,
Love is not worth of losing a life.

My Current Life Status

I somehow finding myself,
Back at the same place I used to be,
A razor sharp blade at my left,
An unfinished sad love poem by my right,
I have no hope anymore,
But to live in a world of seclusion and denial,
Denying everything I see, hear or speak,
Secluding myself in darkness of silence,
Secluding myself away from everyone.
Leaving this world doesn't make me solely,
Staying here doesn't serve a purpose,
Let time decide my fate here,
I have once more lost my life,
To the silence and loneliness,
Looking at the time I am,
Time is just going by too slow,
So is this a torment or just life?
I do wonder as I stared at the clouds,
Up in the blue clear skies,
Hoping a change in my life...

Alex *Carbon-Carbon* Bond : Quantum of Silence

This is kind of a spoiler to the actual movie.


There was two black Land Rovers, chasing a elegant, 'fast' black Proton Waja in a tunnel. Guys from the Land Rovers were shooting the Proton Waja using M-16 assault rifles. The Proton Waja driver tried evading the bullets but unfortunately, the rear windscreen broke. The both side mirrors were damaged, due to his extreme bad driving. The right door (driver door) of the Proton Waja came out as the driver kicked the door so he could only enjoy the wind breeze. One Land Rover suddenly brake as they saw a sexy woman with a Red Porsche standing nearby the exit of the tunnel asking for help. Unfortunately, the Land Rover knocked into a trailer and flew to the ocean below. The other Land Rover continue pursuing the Proton Waja. They criss-crossed all over the road and at the quary site, the Land Rover was at the right of the Proton Waja, enabling them a perfect shot to the driver. The driver then took out a Nokia phone and threw it to the driver. The driver was knocked out and the Land Rover was driven to a explosive barrel, thus BOOM!!! NO MORE THREATS to the driver. The driver then head towards the city.

Upon reaching somewhere, the driver then came out of the Proton Waja, and opened the boot. There was a guy, shaking in fear there. He then dragged the guy into an underground place under the Taylor's College and tied him to a chair. The guy asked who the heck is him. He then replied, "My name is Bond. Alex Carbon-Carbon Bond. Agent 012." His boss, M (Mun-Ster) and he started interrogating the guy. M : Tell us who you are working for Mr Andrew. Andrew : What? You people don't know who I work for? Haha. And we're thought the CIA, FBI, M16 (M's company), and MIB (Men In Black) know of us. Guess we worry for nothing. Alex : TELL US WHO YOU WORK FOR!!! Andrew : Haha. Do you know, the organisation got people working everywhere, any place, including NOW...

M's bodyguard, Josh shot M and Andrew. M was hardly damaged but Andrew died at the spot. He then tried shoot Alex but unfortunately, Alex used his Sony Ericsson to defend himself from the bullet. Josh ran and ran, but Alex was always 3 meters behind. Alex then gain a sudden boost after drinking a bottle of Livita that he stole from a refrigerator of a house that he jumped into. Alex grabbed Josh and both of them fell to Subang Parade, hitting the glass ceiling, wall and a few people there shopping.

Both of them were severely injured and will only take one more blow to kill. Josh took a classical guitar of a music shop while Alex took out his phone. Josh ran to Alex, wanting to hit Alex but unfortunately, Alex called Kim and by using the power of Celcom and 3G phone, Kim appeared on his phone and said Hi to Josh who was running towards him. Josh then tried to slow down but tripped and fall down to the floor, followed by the guitar, hitting him. Josh was self-terminated. Alex stood tall and triumpant, in front of a Triumph brand shop.

Alex went back to the underground place and found no bodies, only pools of blood. He then saw M who was walking towards him and said, "Where's Josh? I trusted him for over 10 years. 8 years as online friend, 1 year as brother and another as bodyguard." Alex then said, "He's dead over a guitar." M replied, " Next time Bond, please try not to kill anyone. I want to eat the person alive." Alex said "I tried my best to do so."

Alex then went to Guang Yuan's house, Guang Yuan started attacking Alex with his ruler but Guang Yuan tripped and fell dead after hitting himself on the computer. Alex didn't even move a step. Alex then collected Guang Yuan briefcase. Outside, he saw a woman (unknown) in a yellow MyVI car and almost vomited his lunch out. The woman asked him to enter or else she will kill him. He entered the car and the woman started asking lots of question about Lucky. Alex was chatting with her until he opened the briefcase. The woman saw it and tried to kill Alex. Alex escaped from the car and the car just continue its path. He then stole a tricycle and chased after the car.

They reached the docks of Port Klang. Alex hid among the primary children that was having a trip to the docks. The woman went to see Lucky, who was counting his illegal money. He shouted at the woman, and the woman almost cried. Seng Wai came to the docks using a motorboat, with a few bodyguards. Seng Wai then chatted with Lucky about a Maths problem that he may use to take over the Subang territory. Lucky proposed that if his organisation succeeds in making Selangor territory to be his, the organisation wants a part of Subang, which covers from Asia Cafe to Sunway Pyramid. Beginningly Seng Wai disagrees, saying that he wants Asia Cafe, but if he refuses, the organisation will hunt him down. Lucky then gave the woman to Seng Wai as a sweetener to their deal. He has no option but to accept it. Seng Wai then left the docks, along with the girl. Alex stole a mini boat and row the boat using paddles towards the fast speeding motorboat. The mini boat crashed into the motorboat and Alex fell into the water. Seng Wai laughed and fell into the water too. The bodyguards don't know what happen, and so they follow Seng Wai into the water. Alex then climb into the motorboat and fled from there to Indonesia.

Leaving her at Indonesia, Alex came back and followed Lucky’s bodyguard, Hanks to the TGV cinema in One Utama Shopping Complex. There were people giving out gift bags from the TGV cinema. There were some gift bags different from the others. Alex Bond took one of those gift bags and found an earpiece. He entered the movie player room, which was above the hall. At the theater hall as the latest James Bond movie, the Quantum of solace was being played, there were a few guys chatting via the earpiece and Bluetooth. Alex then said, “Haha. You guys are so lame.” They knew Alex Bond was hearing their conversation. So they slowly left one by one. Lucky was intercepted by Alex on the way out. Alex took out his BB gun and tried shooting Lucky and his bodyguards. His bodyguards felt a bit pain, so revenge by shooting Alex down with paintballs. Alex fled through the Subway restaurant, passing through the kitchen with a 6-inch Subway Melt in his hand. Alex Bond then confronted with a bodyguard that has links to Mr Lai Wing Kean on the rooftop on the shopping complex, but they struggle. The bodyguard fell onto Lucky’s Mercedes Benz. Lucky do not know him and drove over the bodyguard.

Believing that Alex has killed another guy, M has Alex’s SIM cards given by the M16 rejected. However, Alex still managed to buy a new SIM card at a nearby phone shop inside One Utama. He then went to Aaron’s house, an old ally that he trusted. Both of them then went to KL and were greeted by a woman (which Aaron likes to see) which tried to stopped them from going to Pavilion but couldn’t. That night, they attended a fund raiser held by Lucky, while the woman appears again. Aaron went to meet his friend Hong Yi as Alex went to spy on Lucky. Getting no enough information about the organization, Alex went back home.

On the way, the police stopped him at Federal Highway. The police called Alex to open his car boot. There laid Aaron, being unconscious. The police took out their guns and asked, “Macam mana sekarang? Pergi balai polis sekarang atau… rasuah?” Alex told them that he has no money with him, so they got angry and tried to shot him. Alex grabbed Aaron and put him as a shield. He threw Aaron towards a police while he blinded the other with his phone camera light. Both of the police were then knocked out by whacking them with Aaron’s schoolbag. Alex went to Aaron, who is still alive but about to die soon. Alex carried Aaron and tossed him into the garbage bin, taking Aaron’s money, phone, wallet, and books along. He then left the crime scene.

Alex then went to Ridzuan Apartments, where Seng Wai and Hong Yi were supposed to meet Lucky. He hid in a garbage bin, as he waited for the right moment to strike. Lucky made a contract deal with Seng Wai, saying that the ‘nasi lemak’ stall that arrives only in the morning belongs entirely to Lucky. Seng Wai strictly objected but Lucky still threaten him with the organization. Seng Wai got scared and angry and signed the documents. Lucky gave him two briefcase filled with 5 million rupiah each bag. The bags were then transported into the truck, which Hong Yi was driving, heading to the nearest MayBank. He then rushed to his room, angrily. Alex Bond then came out from nowhere and shot Hong Yi in the head. Before that, Alex said, “How could you betray your best friend? You should at least invite me first.” The soldiers were shooting Alex at the moment he killed Hong Yi. Alex hid behind the Perodua Kancil for safety. He then stood up and started shooting. He shot everyone down with his handgun and ran into the building.

Hanks was left there to protect Lucky who was escaping. Unfortunately, the hydrogen fuel nearby exploded and Hanks was burned alive, before he was able to show his shooting skills that he was practicing in Counter Strike: Source. Alex Bond ran after Lucky. He then saw Seng Wai. The woman came out from nowhere, stabbed Seng Wai at his private part, causing a severely injury that he will never forget. He tried attacking but his stomach was acting weird. With the fire all around and the hydrogen fuels nearby, he farted and the hydrogen fuels around him exploded. There goes Seng Wai.

Alex was shocked and ran after Lucky. Lucky then attacked Alex at a corner. Lucky took his Physics textbook at the right and Chemistry textbook at his left, non-stop attacking Alex. Alex was severely injured due to paper cuts and bone injuries. Alex was at a verge to being fried. Fortunately for him, he pulled Lucky and Lucky fell. Alex grabbed Lucky and interrogated him. Lucky gave him all the info and Lucky was saved from the fire by Alex. Lucky tried to run but Alex drove his black Proton Waja and kidnap him.In the middle of a desert, Alex left Lucky there with a barrel of Sunkist Orange Juice. He rushed to Nick’s house. There, Nick was with Brenda, watching Pride and Prejudice. Alex then told Brenda to go with the laptop as Alex wanted to have a one-on-one talk with Nick. Nick was the double-agent of the organization.

Alex left the building, and told M (Mun-ster) that Nick is still alive and ready to be interrogated. M was shocked and yet thanked him for supplying her supper. Alex then told her, “The organization is 0801PE4, consisting mostly of high-ranked students and lecturers.” M said to Alex that Lucky is now in Sarawak, enjoying his time with his girlfriend (if he has one/two). Alex left into the wild cold, leaving behind his phone.

THE END!

Three Words

Three words is all I have to say,
to you that my heart belongs to,
The moment I left you away,
I could only say I Love You.
It hurts my heart and soul dearly,
I couldn’t do much back then,
I didn’t hug or kiss you goodbye,
As my tears flow away from your sight.

Three words is all I want to say,
to you that my heart needs to,
The moment I cried all alone,
I could only say I Am Sorry.

I could sense you’re sad and lonely,
It is my fault for making you as so,
I have to go to pursue my dreams,
But I shall remember you still in my heart.

Three words shall I need to say,
to you that my soul desires,
The moment I think about you,
I could only say I Miss You

My heart aches and burns painfully,
I couldn’t hold it any longer,
Hoping to be with you once more,
As I dream of you every night.

Haih...

5 exams down, 5 more to go... Haha... I'm going insanely.. *cuckoo cuckoo.*

Life's just ordinary up to now... Nothing much... Chemistry Paper 2 coming in two days time... Haha...

I beg you what to write somemore le... I lived a normal boring life though. haha.

Carmen's Birthday

As usual, nothing different from the other days except today is CARMEN'S 18th BIRTHDAY!!! She has joined the ranks of going to pub and drink non-stop and go clubbing whenever she wants with us. Haha...
It was meant to be a surprise birthday bash for her but 'someone' accidentally said it out loud. So, onyl birthday bash was celebrated (without the surprise of course)

This is Carmen Chen, using the same blade to cut Joshua in the J-Attack (unmentioned) to cut her beloved 18th birthday cake at Noodle Station, Subang.

This is the moment they all started eating. On the left is Carmen as you guess know, on the right is Kevin Chen, Carmen's adopted son, which claimed to be born from a rock beside the road.

These two are Carmen's parent, who adopted Carmen to be their little daughter. They looked rather young due to the anti-aging process they are undergoing.







And because today is Carmen's birthday, Kevin devoted his life to excel in his studies to prove to his disown 'father' that he can do it (and mostly cause his mum says so).


Today was a good day, another day to bully Lil Mun... Haha...

pain pain...

sob sob. me pain pain. very pain pain. wake up at 4, pain pain at ear... sob...
today morning was just so headache to its max... Huh... The pain...
Headache, high fever, sore throat, ear-ache, and body numbness.

Exam in two/three days time and I'm this sick?! OH dear... Medic Attention...

Sick during Exam Month

This is not good at all. I'm being sick... Aduh... sick during Exam Period is never good. Huh... Need medical attention. Medic students, help me.

To My Wife out there Wandering,

Missing you from afar,
Burns and bruises my heart,
My heart couldn’t take it no longer,
It desires of yours,
Only yours shall heal its sorrow,
No heart but yours truly,
My heart desires you.

As day walked by,
I somehow find that I been missing you,
The time that flowed by feels long,
I couldn’t stand no longer,
My heart’s dying and has no will to live,
I shall continue surviving,
To see you once more, I shall endure it all.

Let the fate spindle away with time,
May that fate bring our hearts together,
Be one once more,
And never to be broken apart again,
It’s a promise, a vow I shall make,
With my blood of my soul,
I shall make it true once again.

So the Gods of Heaven above,
May Thee bear witness of my vow,
The promise that I made with my soul,
I shall love her once more,
For eternally I shall do so,
I shall make her an immortal,
Carved in my soul and heart, I shall.

4 Papers Down, 6 More to GO!!!

Haha... Six More to Go? Aiyo... This would be longer than expected to be taken.

Painful Facial Story = PFS

Today is just the most OUCH day in life. The Facial Wash...
My Mum insisted on me to wash my face from blemishes and pimples. my face is just like growing pimples all over. That's just ain't good ya...

So I went for this facial treatment. Here, they poke every pimple of mine. Ouch...
Then they pinch the blood out from the pimple. Double OUCH!!!

Later on, they apply some face lotion on my face, and it burns... Seriously burning... Then the mask is being applied on it, soon wrapped in plastic wrappers... I looked like a robber, except I'm in white. Haha...


So everything is being removed and I'm FREED from painful torments... Phew... So that's my today for you guys. Hope you enjoy it.

Poem of A Friend

As you’ve already know the factual fact,
the one and only true-life truth,
Everyone knows of this verity,
That we both are just so different.

We’re like an Othello chip,
Totally opposite in every way,
Almost everything in fact,
Don’t you think so?

The way you walk along the ladies,
Just makes them want to lose their feet,
The way you talk to the ladies,
Just makes them want to drop on their knees.

You’re brilliant in many ways,
who am I to kid? You’re perfect!
Perfection seems to be your game,
Even though you’ve a baby, you’re always the same.

A girl worth of your standard should be thankful she got you,
You as her very lucky, propitious boyfriend,
If not, then I got nothing to say of her no more,
Well, I can’t go insulting girls like this, you know.

You’re unique, that I can say,
No one can deny this very proof; I’m assured of it,
So you’re better left away from me, your opposite side,
For I’m just a burden to your dynamic soul.

As for me, I’m better left forgotten, left to be lost in the Stream of Time,
I’m no one but a shadow, creeping along the valley of obscurity,
Abandoned alone beyond the wasteland of disillusionment,
Nothing to do but to wait, lingering for the time to pass by.

As for you, the angel, the angelic divine one,
A gift brought from Ninth Heaven, given by God,
To show the path to righteous and pure perfection,
Bringing them a step closer to God, the Father.

So have this convinced you much about yourself?
If not, then I’m left speechless, really speechless,
Well this is the truth, the one and only fact,
This is reality, so guess you and I have to face it sooner or later.

But what the heck?
Who am I to judge you, besides myself?
So whatever you do, just do your thing,
it’s better that way, seriously.

However, always remember this,
as time goes by, flying by across your very eyes,
Memories of heartrending and blissful,
all will tend to fade away, fade along with time itself.

But then please remember your friends,
The one stood by your side, supporting your stand,
the one help you to stand on your feet,
They’re true friends, worth to be memories of lifetime.

That Child

The look of an innocent child he has,
But a power beyond an Angel nor a Devil he possessed,
Looks may be portraying to all,
But then, it's what he capable of becomes man's greatest fear.

A Devil's work is a Child's play,
A phrase no longer unknown to man today,
Despicable, unspeakable, inexpressible,
No man would ever wanted to say it,
As we all know,
it's Him we fear, besides God himself.

The Truth behind the J-Attack

This is reporting... well in fact the truth behind the J-Attack on a victim who call herself Mun Mun. Her identity is remained classified by the Global Government as this is still undergoing whether the J-Man or Joshua Pui can be accused of his crimes (not mentioned). The following events is the true occurrence.

It was a peaceful afternoon where birds are chirping and blah blah blah.....in a beautiful, neat, expensive 'mansion' nearby Taylor's College. The victim, Mun Mun was doing her usual chores and etc etc.











Then came these two guys out from nowhere. The guy on left side of the picture claims himself to be Joshua Pui, which is still undergoing some investigation. The other guy is Ivan How, Minister of something I guess...
(For your information, this is not a ROYAL SCANDAL!!!) Ivan How was not involved in this situation but then took part as a hostage by the guy on his left.
'Joshua' was taking photo of Mun Mun as she was sleeping away on the bed peacefully. (You'll get the drift.)






This is just the beginning of his sins...
Mun Mun was staring at him, looking directly into his eyes and found out that 'Joshua', who she claims as her 'brother', was up to no good. She took some photographs of 'Joshua' doing something dirty.

The photographs taken were beyond over-rated and this is a friendly news for young kids to read. Who wants it, ask from Mun Mun.











'Joshua' is then looking back at her again, making her scared of him. She then call out for the parents (the unknown couple) for help but no respond back as they busy with themselves. So...



















She called for 911 but as you know, 911 lines are always busy and they hardly picked up the phone. She was in need of help, desperately...











As she slowly walked downstairs cautiously, she knew Joshua is having his eyes on her. Fear struck her... She looked for something for protection. So she took... a chair...










There Joshua awaits for her, with a chair in his hands, waiting to whack her till she unconscious.
Mun Mun tried resisting the attacks but couldn't able too as Joshua was being too rough and was drooling all over the floor, making a mess for the couple to clean up.









She then shouted to Joshua to stop but he refused. He continued attacking little Mun Mun. She kept yelling for help but no one respond... There were...











four people upstairs, watching a movie of Pride And Prejudice where Nick and Ivan thought that Pride is the sister to Prejudice while the dog's name is And.
Lucky is the other hand was chatting with his beloved wife over the seven seas.
Brenda was into the movie that she felt she was Pride, or maybe Prejudice.





Back to the J-Attack,

Joshua non-stop attacking little Mun Mun. Just look at that evil smile, he just can't wait to lay his hands on her... Joshua then acts violently against her.




















Mun Mun was brutally attacked and her chair was badly damaged. She was in dire of medical attention and yet no one responded.



















Then she saw Ivan How, busy watching cartoons near the crime scene. He then send Mun Mun to SJMC and reported to police nearby. Mun Mun was able to recover smoothly but Joshua was never arrested as he flee away into a black Pajero to escape.
since then, Mun Mun still fears of her brother Joshua as he tried to ........ uh-hum... uh-hum...






So this is the truth behind the J-Attack, So keep on a look out. Joshua Pui might be still out there, wandering for new victims. Beware...











PS. To Joshua, if ya feel a bit insulted in this post, my job is complete.
TO Mun Mun, if ya feel a bit insulted in this post, well, delete it... HAHA...
Well, cause this is something to go against lil Joshua... HEHE...

Save from the Dark

The day was bright then as I last remember on land,
The flowers blooming away, the trees waving at me gently,
The river flowing smoothly, the wind breezing towards me,
The sky was cheerful as ever, and the sun was smiling brightly.

Wow, it was sure a nice day,
A day to do almost anything I like,
Anywhere I want, at anytime I please,
Wow, wished I could reminisce of those moments.

But when was it? I'm not so sure,
For I'm getting lost beyond all reasons,
Lost within a dark corner of the world,
Left alone, all alone in that dark black pit.

Been there for four years since then,
Yeah, it's really been that four years,
Alone, strutting and fretting in that small pit,
Doing nothing but wishing to step out and see
that beautiful sky once more.

What is that? I seeing something glaring at me.
The sun is dazzling? The sky is shimmering?
Could this be? No way, it just couldn't be.
If it is, why now but not before?

Then I kept thinking,
thinking real hard,
thinking of it,
thus I know why.

Then a hand appeared from the sky,
He then said, "Hold onto my hand and I'll let you be freed from it",
I took his hand and was pulled out of that black pit,
And there it was, the clear blue sky that I once dreamed of.

Welcome to My New Blog

Welcome readers... to Dirge's Blog, where He (or rather Me) shall let you people experience how's life beyond his view. Hope you people shall enjoy the posts of His.
Thank you for visiting this blog though. This is new for Him, so please share some guidance of yours.